High-Five Ways to Build Confidence
What do you think of when you think of confidence?
I encourage you to take a second and think about it, bonus points if you journal about it, before you read on.
I was not a confident person for a really, really long time. My definition of confidence when I was in high school is probably different than what my definition is now. I used to think that I just was not a confident, cool, and charismatic person, nor will I ever be. Confidence was something you either had or you didn’t.
Here are some of google dictionary’s definitions of confidence:
“a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.”
”the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.”
”the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.”
When I was younger, I did not know that I could build my confidence. I did not know that I could work on ‘appreciating my own abilities and qualities,’ or ‘developing my own firm trust, or truth’ about myself.
I wanted to be more confident. I don’t know what, but something told me that not all confident people were just born like that. And then I heard some of them start to actually say that - that they were not always confident. Maybe I was onto something…
I was! But it was nothing new. There are already several books about not only how to be more confident, but how to be more charismatic. For instance: The Charisma Myth, by Olivia Fox Cabane, How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero (click on books for links to buy and read).
I read a lot. And reading is great. Read more. But, I need to apply what I read in order to make a difference. This goes for confidence building, and everything else in life. I can’t just read about how to be a better coach. I have to apply strategies, knowledge, and tactics to my coaching sessions. I have to build my arsenal because there is never going to be the one thing that works all the time for every athlete (although I have learned, as Dale Carnegie writes about, a smile does a long way).
…Just look at that one!
Here are some other practical tools that I have learned along my journey to help build my confidence. If you are already cool as a cucumber, these tools can you help excel even further in not only your sport, but your life as well.
Highlight Reel
Spend 1-5 minutes, or more, thinking about your best moment(s) playing soccer. What were you wearing? What did you see, hear, smell? What did it feel like in your body? Were you in a game or just having fun and loving the sport? You can also think of moments outside of soccer when you felt at your absolute best. Be sure to think about whatever moment(s) in extreme detail.
Visualization
This one is similar to the highlight reel, but you are using future events. If you have a game coming up, you can imagine yourself, in detail, performing awesome. What would that look like? What would that feel like? Again, this is not limited to just soccer or sports.
High-five yourself
In the mirror, everyday. Try it when you brush your teeth. It might feel stupid at first, but there is actual research (including a whole book you can read here!) backing up this method. Plus, you high-five your teammates, why wouldn’t you high-five yourself?
Leave reminders
Make your passwords, phone and laptop or tablet backgrounds, etc, a confidence boosting mantra, quote, or whatever words work for you. Leave post-its around your room or wherever you live with them, too.
Awesome list
Make a list of 100 things that make you awesome. Go back all the way to when you first learned to crawl until today. Nothing is too big or too small to include on this list. Did you win the third grade spelling bee? Put it on the list. Do you hold the record for longest streak of Four Square King during recess? Put it on the list. Are you the best dog mom in the world? Nope, that’s on my list (proof is in Kya’s smile pictured above).
Bonus***
Integrity.
Do the right thing, even when no one is watching. Integrity is on of the better coach’s core values because this has been the biggest confidence builder of all. This includes keeping promises to yourself and others, showing up when you say will, and following through with your commitments. Let’s make self accountability a thing again while we’re at it.
If you are located in Central New Jersey, ready to train better, and build your confidence, please fill out the form below to find out more about Alana’s services.
If you are not located in Central New Jersey, but still ready to train better, and build your confidence, please fill out the form below and ask about my remote services.
I also offer creative services for other coaches out there! It’s another thing on my awesome list.
