What Cutting Weight For a Powerlifting Meet Was Like in Recovery
First of all, I don’t recommend this to anyone, in recovery or not. Here’s what happened:
While training for my second powerlifting meet, I told my coach I wanted to get ripped (yes, it’s okay to have aesthetic goals in recovery from an eating disorder - but that’s a whole separate article). He was weary because aesthetics is not the goal in powerlifting, but he was also smart enough to let me make this mistake on my own, because that’s how we learn best sometimes.
Coach James suggested I bump up my carbs. I found that it was actually hard for me to reach the number he set for me everyday. But what I also found was that this extra room caused me to fill up on carbohydrates like rice, potatoes, couscous, farro, other grains, and fruits and vegetables. And I found that as I did this, to my surprise, I actually did not even want things like skittles or oreos.
Additionally, as I did this, I happened to lose three pounds. Losing those three pounds made me three pounds above the lower weight class, and 5 pounds under my current weight class. So, why not keep going and compete at the lower weight class?
Yea, not a good idea, aschole.
My body did not want to lose more weight. Those three pounds were all it planned on losing. However, at that point, it was past the deadline and I had to compete at the lower weight.
So I cut my carbohydrate intake.
When I did that, I did not have energy to push myself in the gym. I stopped gaining strength. It sucked.
And I still wasn’t losing enough weight, so I did a water cut, too, which I’ll explain what that is shortly.
Mind you, I did this all with the help of a coach, and I 100% trusted that coach. In the past when I was on meal plans or working with a dietician, I would lie about what I ate. If you are going to lie about what you eat, because you are sick and suffering like I was, or because you’re embarrassed, or any other reason, it won’t help your coach help you.
Because I trusted Coach James, I did what he said. Although, when my weight was not changing and he suggested I do a water cut the week leading up to the meet, I honestly did not believe that was going to work. A water cut is when you drink extra water for a few days, and then 24 hours before weigh-in, you don’t drink anything. I thought, I guess I’ll give it a a shot, sounds easy enough.
It was not easy.
I almost gave up. Between the lack of carbohydrates and dehydration, I actually had a text written out to Coach James that I was going to drop out of the meet. I thought, what’s the point, I’m not strong right now anyway.
Luckily, I have tools today to help me through those moments. Rather than send the text, I meditated and I journaled. Those things helped me realize that I wasn’t dying, and I was going to be okay. It helped me realize that there was a deadline on this, too. Yes, this was not sustainable, and not healthy, and please don’t try this at home, but after the meet I could eat all the skittles I want. In fact, I had already made plans to do so with my friends the following day. Journaling also helped me decide that I was going to go to the meet, try my best, get experience, and see who I can help. Those were my only expectations.
We all make mistakes.
And to be completely honest, I’m scared to put this blog out because what I did is not in alignment with my message about healthy, sustainable, fueling.
But another part of my message is against the highlight reels you see on IG, and that no one is perfect.
The most important thing I learned from this experience is I that I could not be the person that I strive to be while losing weight for the meet. For instance, I try to not complain, and I strive to be patient, and kind and loving to everyone. When I was cutting carbohydrates and water, I complained a lot. I was not patient. I was not kind and loving, either. My thoughts became more self-righteous and less humble. My energy levels were low. I was not happy. There was no way I’d be able to sustain that and be the best version of myself.
So, please use my experience to help you, not hurt you. If you have questions, please ask: alana.asch@gmail.com
If you’re new to TBC, you can find out more about my journey on Recovery Warriors: To The Female Athlete Who Is Struggling.
Lastly, I’m excited and honored about an article coming out with ANAD at some point about my experience a year ago training for my first meet. At the end of that article, I talk about stepping on the scale for the first time in recovery. Here is an excerpt:
Prior to stepping on the scale for the competition, I was at a point where I knew that number was going to be just a number. I knew that it was going to mean nothing to me. I knew, prior to stepping on that scale, that no matter what the scale said, it could not measure my value as a human being.
Nor could it measure how much fun I have, and love I am filled with, when I play with my niece and nephew. There is no way for a scale to count or prove that I am the best dog mom in the world—but I am. The scale can’t measure the quality friendships that I have in my life today, nor the love and support I have for and from my family.
Nor could a scale measure what it felt like to have my first authentic, sober, uncontrollable belly-laugh a year and half into sobriety. I can remember not believing I could ever be sober and happy again. The scale can’t quantify the passion and fuel that has been lit in me to pursue a dream job that I did not think I could have attained 10 years ago.
All that the scale can measure is my physical relationship to gravity.
I’m including this here because that was my attitude and mindset stepping onto that scale when I was preparing for this meet. No matter what that scale said, I knew those numbers were just numbers. Yes, being completely honest, a tiny bit of me was a tiny bit disappointed when that number said something more the next day, but the voice saying that was so quiet.
I remember when the smaller that number got, the better I felt, and the louder that voice got. And the louder that voice got, the less I cared about those things I just mentioned like being a good person, and also being a good dog mom, friend, daughter, and aunt.
My experience making weight for this meet was that the smaller that number got, the shittier I felt. I just wanted to weigh what I needed to be for the meet, and start training for the next one with more fueling and therefore better training. It sucked not being able to push through my lifts, and it sucked not having the energy and confidence I get from doing my best to be a good person.
So, I guess the moral of this story is that carbs make me a better person, and they probably will make you a better person, too.
Eat more carbs.
…By the way, lifting won’t make you bulky. It takes a lot of work outside of the gym to get bulky, just like it does to lose or gain weight when your body does not want to.
