Ghosting
Sure would be nice if we stopped ghosting each other. But since we won’t, let’s talk about why it’s not all bad.
I thought ghosting was just a thing that people did on dating apps. I recently learned that ghosting has spread all way to the professional world. Since it is probably going to keep growing into all worlds and relationships, let’s look at some of the positive sides.
Be grateful that you never started or are no longer in a relationship with someone who is not comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Louis C.K. talks about cyberbullying in the first 45 seconds of this video (but the whole thing is worth a watch). Putting this in the context of ghosting, when someone has something to say with the potential to hurt someone’s feelings, that initial conversation is not going to make either party feel good.
Rather than deal with it, if someone ghosts, they can now forget about it. They can tell themselves something like, “this is easier on both of us.” They know it’s not. The ghoster is really unwilling to have an uncomfortable conversation.
Even though that conversation will probably be uncomfortable at first, it has potential to lead to growth. By not having the conversation, by ghosting, both parties are neglected of that opportunity.
Do you really want to be in a type of relationship that avoids discomfort and remains stagnant?
Rather than being frustrated about being ghosted, be grateful that you never started or are no longer in a relationship with someone who takes the easy way out.
The easy way and the right way are rarely the same way. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Ghosting is easy. It’s easy to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. It’s easy not having to see someone’s face when you are going to make them upset. It’s easy to ignore someone’s feelings when you ghost them.
I’m not perfect either, I have ghosted before. It was only after being ghosted a few times that I decided I do not want to make anyone feel like that, regardless if our relationship is friendship, romantic, professional, or any other relationship.
Do you really want to be in a type of relationship with someone who takes the easy way out?
Rather than being frustrated about being ghosted, be grateful that you never started or are no longer in a relationship with someone who will not help you get better.
This blog post was inspired by a ghost from a potential professional relationship. After a few messages were sent back and forth, the ghosting happened. Once I realized I was being ghosted, I asked for feedback. I received crickets in return. Here, the ghoster deprived me of feedback, of a chance to get better. That feedback might have made both myself and the ghoster uncomfortable at first. But in the long run, it would have made both of us both better.
I decided that not only am I never going to make anyone feel like that, but also, I am not going to deprive anyone of a chance to get better; especially if they ask for it. Even if I don’t get back to you for a few days or weeks, I’ll get back to you. I know, easy to say now when no one reads this (if you are, thank you). When I blow up, I will figure out a way to stay true to that.
In the meantime, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who won’t help you get better?
Rather than being frustrated about being ghosted, be grateful that you never started or are no longer in a relationship with someone who is a coward.
Really boils down to this 💁♀️.
No one wants to be in any type of relationship with a coward.
Please feel free to comment below about a ghosting experience, or a relationship bullet you dodged by being ghosted.
And, if you are located in central new jersey and ready for better strength and conditioning, please use the form to get in touch with me. If you are not in Central NJ, please use the form to ask me about my remote options.
I promise I will not ghost you.
